Take a deep breath, take a deep breath, take a deep breath…
Exhale, inhale… so deep your lungs start to hurt.
The pain will make you think of something else, perhaps of the pain itself.
I remember the time when I was out there, when I would meet countless people in a day, when I would talk to them about insignificant things, because I haven’t got the time for significant ones; I remember when I would work from 9 until 7, always in a hurry, when I never had the time for my loved ones.
I remember not having the time to listen, to hear, to understand people close to me.
They were suffering, and I was suffering, too.
How much pain we cause, unknowingly?
There were so many people around me, but no one saw me.
I talked to so many people, but I didn’t hear them.
I didn’t want to listen to myself, to understand and see myself for who I really am; I didn’t know how to break off from always being in a hurry, how to stop gloating over superficial achievements.
I didn’t know that is not the way to change the world.
Forgive me, all of you who knew the truth.
I didn’t know.
I didn’t feel.
After a while, I didn’t know how to listen to myself.
Because, if I were listening, I would know that everything starts with me;
I would know that all of my feelings, ideas, hopes and expectations will overflow to every living thing around me;
I would be more aware of each of my acts and its consequences;
I would know better when to start and when to stop;
I would hug and kiss my loved ones more often;
I would say I love you and I wouldn’t be ashamed of it;
I would smile more often, to strangers, to passers, and to those who frown.
I feel that child inside of me. I know it’s here because it wants to come out, but I won’t let it.
Because, you know, that child allows people to hurt me, to make me cry and then I wonder for many days and nights how are some things even possible.
I forget that this child protects me, teaches me, that I am safe and protected with it and that there is time for everything.
If you can remember, that’s that familiar feeling that everything will be OK, that you are safe, that Earth and Cosmos love you because you are one.
That is why I need to keep breathing. Deeply. Because, that is the way to remember how is it to be me.